If you don't like your outcomes,change your responses.
Updated: Dec 16, 2018
When working with youth, I employ the law of life based on the formula below.
E + R = O
No need to worry , this isn't algebra. It's much simpler than that ! It is stand for :
Event + Response = Outcome
The basic idea is this : Every outcome we experience in life ( whether it's success or failure, health or illness, happiness or frustration )is the result of how we have responded to an earlier event in our lives. If you don't like the outcomes you are currently getting, there are two choices you can make:
1,You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O). In other words, you can blame your parents, your teachers, your friends, your teammates, your childhood, the weather, racism, your lack of support, and so on. But how useful is the "blame game "? Sure, these factors do exist, but if they were the deciding factors, nobody would ever succeed. Lots of people have overcome these so-called "limiting factors " - so it can't be these factors that limit you. It's not the external conditions or other people that stop us - it's us ! We stop ourselves. We think limiting thoughts, defend our self-destructive behaviour, ignore useful feedback, waste time on gossiping, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more money that we make, don't plan for future, avoid risk, and fail to tell the truth - and then wonder why our lives don't work. As you know, this option is not beneficial.
2, You can instead simply change your response (R) to the events (E) -the way things are-until you get the outcomes (O) you want. This is the option that creates opportunity, freedom, and so much more. At any given moment, we look at ourselves, and change our thoughts, change the way we look at ourselves, and change the way we look at ourselves, and change our behaviour, that's the power of YOU. And that's all we need to control anyway. Unfortunately, for many people these factors are controlled by old habits. We tend to react without thinking things through. However, the moment we take responsibility and commit to making a change, we can take back that control. It's not something that happens overnight, but catching ourselves in the middle of negative thought and changing our behavior just a couple of times each day can make all the difference.
In the end, it's not what happens to us, it's how we respond that matters. And how we respond is completely up to us.
It's like a poker, you can't determine the cards you're dealt. But you can determine how you play them.